St Max of Rescue missions
by Iwantwings
Summary: Everyone knows how St. Fang of Boredom kidnapped Fang. But the flock has never noticed...until now! Very minor FAX.
1. Chapter 1

**_O.K., if anyone hasn't read a story by St. Fang of Boredom, this will not make sense. _**

**_At all._**

**_You have been warned. _**

**Max's POV**

I knocked on Fang's door, frowning. There was no answer.

"Fang?" I said, leaning against the door. Still nothing. As leader and concerned girlfriend, I decide to deny Fang his constitutional right to privacy and barge in. Hopefully, he wasn't changing.

I turned the knob and the door swung open to revel… an empty room? Wait, that made no sense. I stepped in to get a closer look. Suddenly, I remembered Fang's invisibility trick.

"Fang, if you're waiting to scare me, I will dig out your spleen with a fork and feed it to you." Wow, I need to curb down on the violent thoughts. Especially with the 6-year-old mind reader in the house.

_Actually, I'm seven! _

_Angel, out of my head!_

I squinted. Had Fang's bed been slept in? The room was messy, like there…omigod. OH MY GOD!

Fang had been kidnapped.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm sorry for the short first chapter. I just wanted to give a quick introduction to the story. All my chapters will (hopefully) be much longer.**

**Omigod, I forgot to do the disclaimer. I want everyone to look at the name of the website you happen to be on. ****_Fan_****fiction. Therefore, me no own Maximum Ride.**

"Max? Isn't Prince Fangles up yet?" Iggy stuck his head around the doorframe. His normally bright blue eyes darkened with worry when I didn't respond.

"Max?"

I collapsed on Fang's still made-up bed and buried my face in my hands. Nudge, who had followed Iggy in, ran over and put her arms around me.

"Max, where's Fang? What's wrong? Are you crying?" I shook my head empathetically, turning away so they wouldn't see the tears running down my face; so they wouldn't see that I was lying.

"Oh my Bacon! Where's Fang? Did whatever the new creepy thing those dang whitecoats came up with now attack and kidnap him? Oh my Cullen!" Nudge tends to rant when she's nervous, scared, tired, bored, upset, sad, or happy…Nudge tends to rant when she feels any emotion. She's also a Twilight fangirl.

I looked at both of them and opened my mouth to answer, but it felt like my vocal chords were frozen with fear.

* * *

_Max, I think I- _

**_Angel, later O.k.? _**

_But Max, this is actually important! It has to do with Fang!_

**_Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?_**

_I was on the computer, and…never mind. You just have to see!_

**_O.K, be there in a minute. _**

"Hey, you guys? A moment please?" I tapped Nudge on the back of the head interrupting her (most likely fake) hyperventilating fit. She glared at me, and then whacked me back. I looked at the door. Iggy shrugged at me, like 'whatcha gonna do?'

"What is _so_ important that you had to interrupt my hysterics?" Nudge snapped, flipping her caramel colored hair over her shoulder.

"Angel says she's found something on the computer that has to do with Fang."

"Well what are waiting for?" Iggy flicked his strawberry-blonde hair out of his unseeing blue eyes. "Let's go!"

* * *

When we entered the computer room, Angel spun around in the spinning chair, steepling her fingers and resting her chin on them.

She dropped the serious attitude as soon as we came closer though. "Max! Look at this!"

I grabbed the mouse and squinted at the computer screen. The URL, out of habit, was the first place I looked. . What? Next, I glanced at the actual screen Angel had pulled up. It was an online profile…for somebody named St. Fang of Boredom.

Who names their child St. Fang of Boredom?


	3. Chapter 3

**I am the worst writer ever!**

**Go ahead, throw virtual tomatoes at me, all you faithful reviewers. **

***Hangs head in shame* **

**But I have a good reasoning for not updating in a super long time. At first, I was on my 8th grade trip to D.C., so I couldn't write. Then, well… I started losing inspiration for this fic. **

**So , this story is going on temporary hiatus. I just can't think of anything to write for it. If I can't think of any ideas for this story by the new school year, I'll put it up for adoption. **

**Thank you to all the people who reviewed/favorite/followed this story. I'm sorry I let you down. **

**Again, Super sorry!**

**-wings**


	4. I'm back!

** Angel's POV**

I hugged Celeste to my chest as Max and Nudge read the fanfiction profile. The very uncomfortable desk chair was giving me a butt-ache in addition to my pounding headache. Actually, reading minds, if I do it enough will give me the worst migraine.

"So, Angel, this really _interesting_" Max placed a lot of stress on interesting (the sarcastic kind of stress) "but what does it have to do with Fang being kidnapped? I rubbed my temples and looked at her. The world could be ending, and Max would still be sarcastic.

"Max, read one of the stories." I said. She clicked on the first one, called _A day in therapy_ and read a couple of chapters. Her expression went from skeptical to confused to just plain '_what the fuck?'_ in the space of 2 chapters.

"Oooooookay then." Max said after she had read a little bit of the story. "This is officially the weirdest thing I have ever seen. And that includes the time we got Iggy drunk." I giggled at the memory. That video had kept the flock entertained for days…and made Iggy an overnight internet sensation.

"O.k., so according to this profile, Saint lives in New Hampshire, but her real name is Rebecca, she's a college student, and we're a book series! I wonder if we're famous…I hope this JimmyP man did a good job describing us!" Nudge tends to go off on tangents about every little thing. She did, however raise some good points. Saint/Rebecca lived in New Hampshire, was a college student, and most importantly, claimed to have kidnapped Fang.

"New Hampshire's a pretty big state." Iggy pointed out. "There are a lot of colleges she could be at." I nodded, and then realized that he couldn't see it.

"You're right, Ig" Max said."But, Nudge, love, are you still good with computers?"

"Yup! Angel, can you get out of the chair please?" I stood up, and she spun the chair around a few times before plopping down. She took off her black fedora and flung it across the room, a sign she was actually serious about the job she was about to do.

+++++++++++++++++++ A lovely little time skip in which Max explains everything to Gazzy and Total. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

_Yes! I hit pay dirt! Whoo-hoo!_

**_Nudge, calm down. I'll tell Max. We'll be there in a minute. _**

I switched over into Max's head.

**_Hey, Max I think Nudge found something!_**

_Be right there. _

I ran into the computer room. Nudge was blasting Taylor Swift music and doing her victory dance, which seemed to involve lots of jumping and arm-waving. As she saw me she turned off the music and sat back down.

"Ohh… Angel, guess what? Rebecca/Saint is a student at New Hampshire University in Manchester, she's 22, and lives in an apartment with a couple of co-workers."

While Nudge had been telling me everything, Max had come in with the rest of the flock. They had arrived in time to hear the information, but miss Taylor Swift and Nudge's dancing. Lucky.

"So," Max said, clapping her hands. "Manchester it is. We leave in 20."

**I'm baaaaaaaaaaack! This is one of the longest chapters I've ever written. Not counting the A/N, this is 520 words. Yay Wings! **

**FYI, the info about Saint is completely made up, except for what you see on her profile. If the rest is true, I will laugh my ass off. **


	5. Even the journalists!

**Sorry for the short chapter, I just wanted to give you guys something to read. This story only has a bout two more chapters. **

**Thanks for reading everyone!**

**Max POV**

"Next time you decide to try and blow up a U.S. army base, I'm just going to leave you in federal prison!"

The boys grinned sheepishly. "Well, it was nice of you to take pity on us this time." Iggy said. "However, I think we are capable of escaping jail on our own." I rolled my eyes as Gazzy nodded sagely.

"The easier, **_legal_** option, however, is to bail you out with the unlimited funds in the Max card." I said as I twirled a strand of dark blonde hair around my finger.

"They didn't even have a bail yet! Your version of bail is to pay the guard and receptionist to look the other way." Total lectured. "I'm pretty sure that's even more illegal than attempting to blow up Fort Knox."

"Oh, put a sock in it." I replied.

_How eloquent._

**_Why thank you, voice. Any other Zen comments for me today? _**

Apparently not, because it shut up.

"See, what have I gotten myself into, on the run with wanted criminals, no respect for dogs or the rules of society…even the journalists…" Because we have so much practice with Nudge, we all automatically tuned out Totals rant.

"Max, how much longer 'till Manchester?" Nudge asked. She'd been surprisingly quiet throughout the flight. (Nudge 2!) I thought for a minute.

"About 8 hours to get there." I replied. "And then we still have to look for her. It could be a while before we actually find Fang."

Nudge's face fell. "I was hoping we would get there sooner, so y'know we could get something to eat. I wonder if they serve good food there. Do colleges even have cafeterias? And if they do, I wonder if it's anything like that food at the school in Virginia. That stuff was nasty. My friend Melissa said…"

The white noise of Nudge's ranting was the background music for the rest of the flight.


End file.
